The first item of business is the end of a date. How awkward. Cliché I know, but let me continue. Let’s go back three years ago into the life of Ben. So young, goofy Ben has just enjoyed a nice evening with a girl he is actually interested in. Much to his dismay, the date is coming to an end- not because it is going to be over, but because the door farewell is looming. Beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, they approach the door of her hall. Yeah baby, Helaman Halls. Anyways, subconsciously Ben’s mind is reflecting on a story his brother told him about how one of his mission companions gave his date “the guns” at the end of the date. You must be an IDIOT to do that, right? As he finally reaches the moment of truth, Ben without hesitation backs away while no-look shooting her up with imaginary guns and hurriedly telling her “Goodnight!”. Instant classic. And yes, there was a second date.
That is just one of the many awkward end-of-date’s I have experienced. Wait, that makes me sound like I’ve been on a lot of dates. That is just one of the five awkward end-of-date’s I’ve experienced. But really, they are just terrible. One of my favorite scenes from 500 Days of Summer (great movie) is the part where the screen is split between the protagonist’s “expectation” and “reality” of going to his romantic interest’s party. Obviously, his expectations are extremely romantic, while reality is… reality. That is my life in a nutshell. It is never truer than at the end of a date. Approaching the door I’m giving myself an elaborate pump-up speech while imagining the perfect way to end the date (I have big dreams). However, after summoning up all the courage my body possesses we reach the door and I give her a firm handshake.
Okay now I sound desperate. I’ll stop while I’m only slightly behind. I could go on and on about the awkward hugs though…
Other random thoughts: What’s up with the guys who wear t-shirts and shorts on campus when it is literally 20 degrees outside? Is that a statement? Did they lose a bet? Do they not feel pain? I’m looking for cameramen and a Bear Grylls narration whenever one of these macho men passes me.
Is it just me or does BYU seem overcrowded at times? I feel like I’m involved in a Jason Bourne-like chase scene every time I go to my geology class. I’m still trying to find the right balance in how I approach the busy area in front of the Eyring science center. The “pretend like you don’t see anybody and walk as fast as you can” maneuver has extremely mixed results, while the “turn the other cheek” method usually leads to me stuck in the middle of a crowd too timid to move. Inspired by China, I believe we need some population-control procedures here at BYU. Perhaps creating a “library” off-campus for those who pretend to study, but in actuality are just trying to find their Friday night date. Maybe a separate campus for PDA couples? Any ideas would be welcome.
Let’s talk about the selection at Cougar Eat. Really? Freschetta? Enough said. If I were BYU president for a day, things would be a-changing at the Wilk. Students would be living the dream every time they eat lunch. Instead, I reluctantly eat Subway every day after waiting in a line longer than when President Monson is the devotional speaker.
On a less complain-y note, here are the top 5 things I’m looking forward to during winter break
1. Having unlimited hot water
2. Eating something other than frozen burritos for dinner
3. Geeking out with the Snow fam and watching LOTR nonstop
4.Not getting demolished by Econ 378 anymore
5. -And lastly, Hanging out with the complete Snow fam for longer than a week for the first time since December 2008