Saturday, December 24, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
The first item of business is the end of a date. How awkward. Cliché I know, but let me continue. Let’s go back three years ago into the life of Ben. So young, goofy Ben has just enjoyed a nice evening with a girl he is actually interested in. Much to his dismay, the date is coming to an end- not because it is going to be over, but because the door farewell is looming. Beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, they approach the door of her hall. Yeah baby, Helaman Halls. Anyways, subconsciously Ben’s mind is reflecting on a story his brother told him about how one of his mission companions gave his date “the guns” at the end of the date. You must be an IDIOT to do that, right? As he finally reaches the moment of truth, Ben without hesitation backs away while no-look shooting her up with imaginary guns and hurriedly telling her “Goodnight!”. Instant classic. And yes, there was a second date.
That is just one of the many awkward end-of-date’s I have experienced. Wait, that makes me sound like I’ve been on a lot of dates. That is just one of the five awkward end-of-date’s I’ve experienced. But really, they are just terrible. One of my favorite scenes from 500 Days of Summer (great movie) is the part where the screen is split between the protagonist’s “expectation” and “reality” of going to his romantic interest’s party. Obviously, his expectations are extremely romantic, while reality is… reality. That is my life in a nutshell. It is never truer than at the end of a date. Approaching the door I’m giving myself an elaborate pump-up speech while imagining the perfect way to end the date (I have big dreams). However, after summoning up all the courage my body possesses we reach the door and I give her a firm handshake.
Okay now I sound desperate. I’ll stop while I’m only slightly behind. I could go on and on about the awkward hugs though…
Other random thoughts: What’s up with the guys who wear t-shirts and shorts on campus when it is literally 20 degrees outside? Is that a statement? Did they lose a bet? Do they not feel pain? I’m looking for cameramen and a Bear Grylls narration whenever one of these macho men passes me.
Is it just me or does BYU seem overcrowded at times? I feel like I’m involved in a Jason Bourne-like chase scene every time I go to my geology class. I’m still trying to find the right balance in how I approach the busy area in front of the Eyring science center. The “pretend like you don’t see anybody and walk as fast as you can” maneuver has extremely mixed results, while the “turn the other cheek” method usually leads to me stuck in the middle of a crowd too timid to move. Inspired by China, I believe we need some population-control procedures here at BYU. Perhaps creating a “library” off-campus for those who pretend to study, but in actuality are just trying to find their Friday night date. Maybe a separate campus for PDA couples? Any ideas would be welcome.
Let’s talk about the selection at Cougar Eat. Really? Freschetta? Enough said. If I were BYU president for a day, things would be a-changing at the Wilk. Students would be living the dream every time they eat lunch. Instead, I reluctantly eat Subway every day after waiting in a line longer than when President Monson is the devotional speaker.
On a less complain-y note, here are the top 5 things I’m looking forward to during winter break
1. Having unlimited hot water
2. Eating something other than frozen burritos for dinner
3. Geeking out with the Snow fam and watching LOTR nonstop
4.Not getting demolished by Econ 378 anymore
5. -And lastly, Hanging out with the complete Snow fam for longer than a week for the first time since December 2008
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Sporcle.com The Music Section
Volleyball Audio Books
Harold B. Lee iphone
Love Mom and Dad
Good Grades Jesus Christ
Jeff's Food Friends Family
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The bro is by far the easiest species of BYU male to spot on campus. One cannot help but notice their blatant usage of the peacock method. The mantra for the brotherhood of the bro’s is “the brighter and more noticeable, the better”. Like many examples found in nature, bro’s utilize their dazzling clothing to attract potential mates, often with very positive results. Some clothing staples of a typical bro are ridiculously bright flannels, seizure-inducing hoodies, and designer jeans. One of the most noticeable features of the bro is their unparalleled hair. Even a bro hater has to stop and admire the perfection of a bro’s hair, even though it causes one to wonder how many hours they spent on it that morning. A social species, bros are rarely seen outside of a bro herd. Also, because of their clear evolutional superiority, there is an unwritten height requirement to be a bro (6'2") unless you qualify as the token “funny short bro” that rolls with the bro herd.
An ever-changing species, the hipster alone can prove the theory of evolution with the adopted slogan of “survival of the hippest”. While it is hard to classify a true hipster due to its underground clothing code, some giveaways include slightly askew beanies, v-necks that expose half of the torso, those glasses my mom used to wear in the 80’s, capris jeans, and a total disregard for accepted fashion styles. There is a fierce rivalry between the bro’s and the hipsters as the bro’s constantly steal hipster ideas, causing the hipsters to once again adapt to their new environment. I am often confused at the apparent paradox that most hipsters present: if all of you guys are trying to be different and hip, why do you all dress the same? Maybe one day I’ll understand what it truly means to be a hipster, but for now I just sit back and admire their innovative ways to make egregious style decisions.
My personal favorite, the BYU-Only’s seem to believe that if you’re not wearing a BYU-affiliated item of clothing everyday then you don’t have school spirit. It makes one wonder if they even have other kinds of clothes. I can just picture in my head a BYU-Only sifting through every BYU sports shirt from the past 4 years trying to pick the perfect one for that day. But honestly, we get it, you go to BYU. We all do too. And I’m not going to “rise up” for BYU football anymore, they’re terrible. And what baffles me are the BYU athletes who insist on wearing the complete BYU athletic wardrobe every day consisting of BYU sweat pants, t shirt, sweat shirt, and beanie. Do they have multiple sets of all of these, or do they wear the same exact clothes every day? All in all, this well-intentioned fashion species serves forgetful students daily by reminding all of us that we do in fact go to BYU.
In reality, the vast majority of BYU students fall into the “average” category. The distinct nature of the BYU-Only’s, Hipsters, and Bro’s creates an illusion that there are more of them than there actually are, downplaying the fact that almost every student at BYU is an average. Probably most of you reading this (if anyone is still reading this) fall into the average category. If you don’t, this is kind of awkward. Typical fashion choices for an average include conservative jeans (as opposed to the bro-favored neon pink ones), pretty nice, but not too crazy, shoes, a generic hoodie, a t shirt that is in the blue or black/grey color range, a noticeable section of garment above the collar line, and a missionary haircut. Holy cow I just described myself (except I need a haircut). Since the average is such a common species at BYU there are many subspecies including the “preppy average”, the “poorly-dressed average” (an unfortunate blend of tacky and mediocre),the “I would be an average but I work at the MTC”, and the “average who secretly wants to be a hipster but isn’t bold enough”.